For those of you who are working to achieve something in your life, you know that the journey ahead of you will be anything but easy. Personally, I am in the process of conquering my most difficult battle: recovering from my eating disorder. Although I am miles ahead of where I was a year ago, the recovery process is long and sometimes brutal, especially because I am also a competitive, collegiate runner.
Runners are encouraged to maintain a healthy lifestyle in order to achieve better results in their performance. Unfortunately, many runners get caught up in losing weight because of this, which when not handled carefully can be deadly.
A year ago, I measured how healthy I was based on the number I saw on the scale and how loosely my clothes fit me. After a disappointing year of track in the spring of my freshman year of college, I decided that I was going to lose weight the summer before my sophomore year in order to prepare myself for the upcoming cross country season in the fall. At first, my diet was controlled and fit my nutritional needs, but as I began to see some results, I became obsessed with losing weight. This became my main focus, not becoming a better runner.
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| My cross country team and I at the beginning of the 2015 season. |
As the months went on and the cross country season started in the fall, I had lost about 30 pounds since the previous track season, and I still wasn’t satisfied. I began to take shortcuts in my diet, skipping meals and eventually purging the majority of what I ate. My race times were decreasing, but I was by no means healthy. Eventually, I was forced to end my cross country season early, and was placed in treatment for my eating disorder. The day I was placed in the treatment center, I thought it was the worst day of my life; now I realize it was the best.
After many months of inpatient and outpatient treatment, I am proud to say that my eating disorder is much more controlled than it was a year ago. Although I may not be as fast as I was at my lowest weight, I am much healthier and happier than I have ever been. I thank God to this day that I am able to love myself while doing what I love to do, run.
By writing this blog I hope to let my voice be heard about the dangers of eating disorders, and encourage others to speak up about the trials they may be going through as a runner or victim of an eating disorder. We all have miles to go in our journey, let's move forward together.
3 comments:
Katie, I love this idea of a blog. I think it is going to help a lot of girls who are struggling with their bodies whether they be athletes or not. I too suffered (suffering) with an eating disorder for the past 7 years and like you said, it is definitely a journey. I can't wait to read more posts that you have coming in the future!
What an empowering and courageous story. I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you, but at least you got help for it and have won your battle with an eating disorder. Thank you for starting this blog!
I really think it is amazing how you have taken something that at the time was believed to be a horrible moment and now reflect on it and realize it was one of your best. I have definitely been there where I thought I was at an all time low, but it has helped me grow much more as a person. I'll be cliche and end it with, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!"
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